I know this post is late, but I have my reasons for doing so. As I have been working along on my dedicant path for ADF, one of the assignments is to write a short essay on each of the nine virtues. Two of them, piety and fertility have really had me going. As is the spirit surrounding this day and of other traditions as well, fertility has played a huge part.
Sometime in the middle of March, my mate and I found out that the chances of us conceiving a child together would be quite slim. I was devastated. We had always planned, and talked about having a child in the future. I have always been super fertile, and have two children from a previous marriage. The looks on his face are heartbreaking, especially when he looks at my youngest son and realizes that he will never be his, nor will he ever have one of his own.
Not only did I lose a good friend in the past two months, this new loss has had me reeling. I stopped doing my devotionals, I stopped giving offerings...I barely looked at my altar. It felt as if my whole life was nothing but working and sleeping... that I had nothing to look forward to.
With the coming of spring, there is always hope. I will never give up on my dreams. Although the future looks bleak, I know that there is another page to the book of life, a blank slate. I am happy with the blessings that I have been given, and realize that I have two beautiful children already. That is more than most, especially those that have none.
I plan on working on my virtue essays this week, and to finish them by next Sunday. I am also looking forward to a Druidic Coffee Hour with the local Grove, and to start doing my daily devotionals again. Spring always seems to cheer me up, if only Cailleach would let go of her dominion!
It feels good to get back up, and get going. I have a lot planned for this year, and I cant wait to get to it!
Heres to a bright new spring!
Blessed Be!
Aw, sweetie - I'm so sorry about the rough times. These issues are never easy to deal with. Another friend of mine had to face that a few years ago... Please know you're in my thoughts.
ReplyDeleteI'm excited that you're really feeling good things about the Dedicant Path! I learned so much about Druidism and, more importantly, myself through the work! It's good stuff. :) Can't wait to see you at our coffee hour!
Thanks Grey. We still have some hope. He's going to be taking a bunch of vitamins for the next three months, and then for the three months after that he will be on fertilaid to see if that changes anything. You never know!
ReplyDeleteI'm feeling pretty good about the DP. I have an adequate grasp on all the requirements, Ect and the time frame in which I have to have them done. I can do this in a year! Lol.